A month ago I loaned a sum of money to an individual whom I have know for many years and trusted. This was not a “pocket change” loan. It was one of substance that had me dipping into my vacation savings, but the individual was in desperate shape and I felt this person was worth the risk.
A few days after the loan, I was proven right when this individual told me they had my money (before I even asked for it) and that when I saw them at an event in a few days they would bring it. “Great!” I thought and felt good about helping out a person in need.
When we next met a few days later, a look of shock came over this person’s face – they forgot the money at home but promised to bring it to another event the next day. No biggie! I have forgotten items myself when busy with other things on my mind.
The next day came and yes – they had the money – one quarter cash and a check for the difference. I said "Thank you!" and they said "Thank you!"
Good deed done – or so I thought. It was a Friday evening. Saturday I deposited the check – the same day this individual traveled out of the area to work a new gig. On Monday, the check was listed as pending in my account – by Wednesday it bounced. The check was rubber plus the bank hit me up for a service fee because of it.
I quickly contacted this individual but heard nothing for a day and then contacted them again. Finally a Facebook message came to me: "I though I sent you an email at work – Must not have gone through. I am sorry about the problem. I spoke to my bank and it looks like I was short $15.00. That's my fault. If you can email me your home address I would be more than happy to mail you the money and the charge. Again, I'm so sorry this has been delayed - I honestly appreciate the help and am not trying to shortchange you! Thanks again!”
Honest mistake – I send my address and waited. And waited. And waited.
Sent another message. “When did you send that money? It hasn’t arrived yet”
The message came back, “It went out in the mail on Tuesday, after the holiday. It's in a half sized manila envelope (I don't trust the white ones with cash). Thanks for the heads up!”
Now two thoughts began going through my mind – Why wait a week to sent the money out and why cash? I kept my fingers crossed and watched for the mail.
Another week passed – another message sent – “Where’s the money? I need it by Friday or I’ll have problems with my vacation.”
Came the reply, “I have no clue what's wrong. According to the UPS order, it is in Peoria. That being said, I'll go ahead and overnight it out to you. If you get the manila one, just send it back. I really do apologize for this. I can send you the UPS tracking number if you would like.”
I quickly replied and asked them to send me the tracking number. No reply – I began texting now. Finally: “Oh, I contacted the Post Office and they say it is lost. That’s OK, it is insured. So I sent out a money order… It is arriving at your house tomorrow.”
I text back, “ Do you have the NEW tracking number?”
“There isn’t one…” I stopped reading and began looking to see is I had grown a tail and two ears like Bottom in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Was I surprised when no money order arrived in the mail the next day?
“How did you send the money order?” I asked.
“Western Union. To your home address.”
“Any Tracking Number?”
“No, I just filled out a form and they sent it. They said they would email me when you signed for it.”
I called Western Union – All funds have a tracking number.
I was now calling and leaving messages on Facebook, email, text, and voice asking them to send me the tracking number!
No answer. Tried again at 11AM. No answer. Tried again at 5 PM. No answer.
At 8:30 PM I get a text: ”My phone died at work. Here is the tracking number: XXX-XXX-XXXX. I though it was being dropped off at your door. You have to go to a Western Union Office and pick it up. Sorry this has been such a hassle. Have a great vacation!”
I was supposed to leave on my vacation the next day. Western Union closed at 8 P.M. I looked out on their website. The Western Union at a nearby Kroger opens at 7 A.M. I can pick up the money first thing in the morning and still head out on time.
At 7:30 A.M. I am at the Kroger. As I walk up to the service desk I am greeted by a sign that says: We open at 8:00 A.M. I am starting to fume. I “ask” a cashier for help. “Oh, I am sorry but we don’t open until 8.” “Western Union says you open at 7!” “We don’t open until 8!” “Western Union says you open at 7!” She called the manager. “Can I help you?” “Western Union says you open at 7 and I have some money I need to pick up!” “We don’t open until 8!” “Western Union says you open at 7!” “We don’t open until 8!” “Western Union says …” “Alright, I’ll help you. Fill out one of those forms there!” and she stomped away. I begin to fill out the form. I no sooner put pen to paper than she stuck her head out the office door and said, “Wait, how much money is that for?” I told her the amount. “Oh, we don’t have that kind of money here. You’ll have to wait until the Wells Fargo truck arrives with our cash for the day.” I took a deep breath. “What time is that?” I asked. “Well, they just reworked the delivery schedule and they are not expected until 1:30 this afternoon, but I’d call first if I were you.” I just turned and walked out of the store!
From my office I contacted Western Union and with the tracking number I now had confirmation that the money was indeed there. I found another local office that had enough cash on hand and RAN there as fast as I could.
As the cashier took my form and began typing numbers into her keyboard I breathed a sign of relief … and then I hear him laughing – William Shakespeare!
Actually he was singing. “Be not a lender nor a beggar be. Do not regret, stay out of debt!” I flashed back to being 8 years old watching Gilligan’s Island as theatre producer Harold Hecuba staged Hamlet as a one man show starring himself (Phil Silvers was hilarious!) during which he sang a bastardized version of Polonius’ advice to his son Laertes:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
I began to laugh out loud.
The sound of the cash register opening brought me back to reality and I focused as the cashier began to count out my money. "20, 40, 60, 80, 100..." A feeling of relief swept over me. "20, 40, 60, 80, 200..." This Comedy of Errors was over. "20, 40, 60, 80, 400..." For a moment I was even willing to give the benefit of doubt to my acquaintance. "20, 40, 60, 80, 600..." Perhaps this really was simply a series of honest attempts gone awry.
I smiled as the last bill landed it my hand. It was all there – except for the bounced check fee… and William Shakespeare is still laughing!
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